Friday, April 21, 2006

This spring

I just wrote a beautiful blog about the strangeness of this spring and then I accidently deleted it. Which just goes to prove it was true. Pity you missed it. I'll try to recreate it.
There's something strange in the air this spring. I thought it bad last fall, but this is different. Friends are breaking up, colleagues are cracking up, and I'm tensing up. It could be the early hot weather, or the distant war, or the workload. But it seems like it might just be some sort of air borne virus that doesn't make you sick exactly, just stressed and troubled.
I'm tense. I'm tense about my job, I'm tense about everything I want to do, and I'm tense about all the good things coming my way. Actually, the reason I'm tense about them is that they require me to make decisions and I don't have all the information I want. What's more, whatever decision I make, I lose as well as gain.
The important thing is to just keep breathing. And being.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
Leila's newest thing is to say to me, "You're sweetie, and I'm mommy," and then precede to say sweetie with every comment she sends my way. Sometimes she's so grown up. Her teacher made a similar comment today during our conference. She said she hit her toe and Leila came up and asked if she was okay and rubbed her back. She always wants to rub my back when I've got a headache. I need to teach her the finer points of massage.
Leila's problem is screaming and crying when she is frustrated. It drives us all nuts. She does it at school, too. I say, "use your words," and Mrs. W says "use your sweet words." She thinks its getting better.
Ali is a pill. He's still scooching along with one foot folded under him. But cute... We went to get his passport today because we're off on vacation in about a month. (More tension! I can't get a hold of the Canadian consul to find out how to expedite my passport! I may have to travel on the other one, which means a visa.)

1 comment:

Julie said...

My thought about the virus going around is that terrorists have somehow infected the U.S. with malaise, which will in the long run be more destructive than anthrax. Sneaky.
By the way, I miss you and the sweetie and the scoocher, and my spring will improve when I get to see you.