Baby Magic

I made the decision to take Sami to the CAA (College Art Association) conference with me back in December, when all he did was eat, sleep, and get his diaper changed, with brief stops to wonder at the world around him. The conference was last weekend, and by now, Sami is much more active, spending long periods of time interacting with the people around him, and even "talking" rather loudly. And while he isn't a big crier, he can, when he feels the occasion demands it, put out.
We flew into LAX on a big 757 that was pretty full. The young man sitting next to me tried to give me privacy as I breastfed, and assured me that he was used to baby stuff as he had a young nephew. When I went back to change Sami, though, I found some empty seats next to a mother of young adults, and she held Sami while I moved my things back and then we talked the rest of the way into LA.
Once there I picked up my rental car and headed through the rush hour traffic of downtown to get to my parents' house, where dinner- (one of my favorites- thanks Mom!) of hamburger pinwheels was ready. My sister and her family joined us.
Wednesday I headed down a little late to the LA Convention Center where two citizenship ceremonies were being held that day. (They up the price of parking to take advantage of the immigrants that day- doesn't seem fair!) It was interesting to see people dressed up, carrying congratulatory flowers, pushing baby strollers, buying commemorative teddy bears and making a day of it. My Mom had her ceremony there a couple of years ago. My dad did not give her flowers- in fact, they couldn't even find each other in the crowd.
But I was there for the conference. I checked in and then checked out the student and emerging professionals lounge, thinking that would be a good place to escape to when Sami was fussing. It was quiet and serious, with people huddled over their laptops and speaking only in whispers. I quickly made my escape.
The first session I went to was about Feminism in the early modern age, and the woman behind me was happy to see I'd brought a baby and offered her arms if I needed them. Had I seen her later in the conference, I would have passed the baby on right then, but the first day I had no idea how tired I'd be. This was the beginning of people loving on Sami, and me. Older women came up and told me how they'd brought their babies to conferences, and younger women told me about babies they'd left at home. One mother/scholar suggested I take Sami to hear Mary Kelly- artist of Postpartum Document- speak the next day. One woman in the exhibit hall on Thursday asked to hold him because her children were all grown up.  Several people thanked me for bringing him.
I was worried that I wouldn't see my professor at all, but ended up running into her when I got off the elevator, and then again later, and indeed, saw her many times throughout the conference.
On Wednesday night I left him with my parents so my sister and I could go to a talk about the Weegee exhibit at MOCA by the curators of the show. Then we picked him up and went out to dinner nearby.
Thursday I got up early, ready for a full day of conference. I started at a panel on Latin American art and then switched over to hear one of my professors on another one. Sami kept me busy and I went in and out off all the sessions several times. I went back to the lounge for a discussion on working and art practice and even talked about being a mother and an artist/student in response to someone else's question. Two of the panelists (profs from Texas, no less) were fathers with 4 and 6 children, and one of them talked about his wife, a sculptor, and how she worked. Afterwards he came up and asked to hold Sami because his own youngest was 15 months already. Both he and the other father came up to speak to me and show appreciation for my bringing Sami. The other dad has a two weeker at home.
I only caught bits and pieces of Mary Kelley's talk. 
At the exhibit hall Sami was cooed over and I got the chance to talk to a lot of different people. Then we headed off into rush hour traffic. Sami screamed his way up the 101 until I could do his preferred speed of 60+ miles per hour. He's kind of like that bus in the movie Speed- go below a certain speed and everything explodes. I had a delicious dinner at my sister's house and then crashed into bed, too tired to do anything.
Friday I set off a little later for the conference. As I pushed Sami toward the conference, a colorful, rotund man came up and said- does he have a ticket? I asked if artworks needed one as Sami was my biological genetic sculpture. He thought this was pretty funny and then kept telling people that Sami was a genetic experiment- not quite the same thing.
We attended several sessions- in and out again- and I thought it would be a good idea to go to the business meeting/reception in the evening. While the business part of it was not very relevant for me, the keynote speaker- with a short presentation- was very interesting. She mostly showed us a presentation with very little talking, so Sami decided he needed to add narrative. Luckly most people enjoyed that- or at least, they are the ones who came up and told me so afterwards during the champagne and cake reception. One woman even told me I was too young to have 3 kids! I told her I was too old to have this one.
Again, we got home to eat dinner and fall into bed exhausted.
Saturday morning I left Sami at home with my Mom again and only went for half a day. I got to sit through the whole panel discussion this time, but was disappointed that one of the speakers listed didn't speak. Then I went down to the exhibit hall and bought some books at the last day 50% discount, scoring a nice retrospective Cindy Sherman tome which my dad will have to ship media mail to me.  I was surprised that many people asked me- "Where's the baby!" I thought they might not recognize me without him.
My professor recommended I go to LACMA to see the surrealist women show, In Wonderland, so my sister and I took Sami down there in the late afternoon. He didn't want to stay in his stroller, so we ended up taking turns carrying him through the extensive exhibit- and once again, people looked at him instead of the art. (A nice foil to all the surrealism I guess.) We really enjoyed it- I want a catalogue so I can remember it all- K was good at this. Silvia Fein had some pieces I want to revisit.
For once I wasn't too exhausted after dinner and so we played a cut throat game of Scrabble, which my mom won.
Sunday morning we actually left for the airport a little earlier than we needed to, which was a good thing, because without warning, the entrance to the airport freeway was closed and I had to go east instead of west and do a u-turn down in Watts to get headed in the right direction. Sami slept through it all and was still sleeping when I pulled in to return the car. The woman who received it took a look at him and told me to hold on a minute and leave him in the car. She came back and announced- I'm taking you to the airport. So we loaded up the trunk again and she took us right to American. Apparently she almost never does airport direct, but can't resist a baby. (Or really, likes to help the mamas!) On the way over she told me about her 2-year-old who she got to daycare before her 6:30 shift started. She didn't want a tip, but I insisted she get something for her baby.
There were no baby specials on bag checking, but Sami did get me out of going through the scary, invasive x-ray machine without getting a pat down. Once at the gate a Vietnamese woman came over and started playing with him and then picked him up and held him for quite a while.  When they asked if anyone wanted to gate check their bags, I leapt at the chance. I'm not going to pay $25, but I don't want to carry it on the plane and risk conking Sami on the head lifting it into an overhead compartment. (Baby magic/chivalry saved him on the flight out).
The woman from Vietnam saw us again while we were waiting for H and the kids and came over to talk to Sami some more.
When the rest of the family arrived there were big smiles all around. I think Sami really missed them, and they all missed him, too. Now, if only baby magic could get my bags unpacked!

Homemade Moby wrap

pink jersey material- $4 a yard- 5 yards
two packs of purple rit dye
scissors
Cut the cloth about in half lengthwise to have approx. 30 inches. (Thanks wearyourbaby.com!)
Online instructions for Moby wrapping
= Look ma! No hands!

And a prettily patterned wrap to match my black and purple wardrobe for CAA conference in LA this week.

He's got....personality...

We are so enjoying this little guy's personality. I can't wait to see what he's like as a boy- I imagine funny and cheerful.
Ali says, "I just want to squish him," and I know exactly what he means!
The other day I was talking to him as he ate, and he didn't appear to want a conversation- kept avoiding my eyes, and then finally gave me a bit of a glare. A few minutes later he was smiling and chortling at me, letting go of his latch to share his pleasure in whatever it was I said to him.
We had an ENT Dr. clip his tongue tie last week, but he still hasn't figured out exactly where his tongue goes when eating. I keep hoping and praying he will.

Talking to himself

Sorry, this gets a bit long, but it shows Sami having a conversation with himself in the mirror. He looks so happy!

*just showed this to Sami, and he smiled!

**The older kids think the monkey hanging over his head is freaky.

Talking with big bro

Photo by H, I think.

Birthday Present for Me!

I just pre-ordered Ann Lamott's new book as a birthday present for myself. After all, that's the day it's due to come out. It's called Some Assembly Required: A Journal of My Son's First Year. It should be fun to read as I watch my own son's first year unfold.

Catching up

It's much easier to read than post while holding/nursing a baby, so it's been a while, especially because Sami eats a lot! He's a great baby- we're really happy with him- but he has a few little issues. For example, he has blocked tear ducts, which require me to massage them and give him gucky eyes in the morning. The other problem is he's just too skinny. While I like skinny babies as well as fat, this is kind of a problem. He didn't gain enough weight his first month. The second month I started giving him one bottle of supplement of day, and he gained a pound and a half. The Dr. was still worried about his weight, so she suggested I supplement at every feeding, and consult with a lactation consultant.
The lactation consultant and an intern came by on Monday, and we learned alot! Apparently, Sami has a very high palate, which makes breastfeeding difficult, and he also appears to have a posterior tongue tie. When I googled this I discovered that this is harder to diagnose/discover than a regular tongue tie, so it's often missed. It also makes bf difficult. Sami latches on pretty well, but he has trouble getting the milk out, and it really tires him.
The consultant has a very sensitive scale and measured him before he started breastfeeding, and then after he breastfed to determine exactly how much he was getting, and this also showed that he isn't being as productive at sucking as he should be.
The good news- he's gained quite a bit of weight with the additional supplementing, which means there isn't a hidden medical issue. In addition, if the posterior tongue tie is the biggest detriment to his getting enough milk, it's a pretty easy fix, from what I read on the internet.
It's really frustrating that he has so much trouble eating as it means I spend hours and hours feeding him or pumping each day.
The lactation consultant is coming back to weigh him on Friday, I think. I'm not supplementing at every feeding- just once or twice a day- as that seems to interfere with his time at the breast. He should still be gaining weight, however.
So, as I said, he has a couple little things that need work, but other than that, he's quite a joy. I've had to go in to work this week and I've taken him with me. Yesterday he started crying while I was meeting in my office with a colleague, but Tio Scott heard him from the office next door and came to get him. He stopped crying immediately and fell asleep.
Today he was kind enough to stay asleep throughout my department meeting, but woke up right at the end to be loved on and admired.
He's got a couple more meetings to get through, and me working on the computer, and then I get 2 months of leave. The pediatrician wrote a note saying he needs to be with me for frequent breastfeeding.

Joy

Just now, Sami laughed out loud for me. He was doing his open mouth grin, eyes sparkling, when a chortle came out. Of course, when I got all excited, he sobered up and got serious. He's been smiling since early on. I know some people say it's just gas, but Sami would smile at us while engaging with us from very early days- week 1 or 2.  Dr. Sears talks about internal and external smiles- internal smiles aren't in response to outside stimuli- but I really think Sami's early smiles were in response to us .After all, if babies grimace when they aren't happy, surely they smile when they are.

more photos

Observations of a six-year-old

Last night we drove over to Santa's Village. The moon was just rising above the tree line, round and golden. When it finally got high enough for the kids to see, Ali observed- "It looks like ear wax."  (I see a poet in training.- or an ear doctor!)
This morning he got into bed where I was holding a sleeping Sami and got me to make him an origami fortune teller (also called a cootie catcher.) Then he started telling our fortunes. For Sami: "You will soon drink milk." And for me? "You will soon be feeding Sami." Those aren't exactly hard fortunes- they describe 75% of our daily activities!

Brothers and Colombians

Four Weeks

Sami has been in our lives for four weeks, which have just sped by. Last Saturday we had a "Sip and See" for him- a Southern tradition where people drop by to take a gander at the new child. A lot of folks came, and it was great fun to catch up with people from all areas of my life, some of whom I hadn't seen in quite a while. Sami was passed from person to person- he loved being held and slept through most of it. H was in the kitchen making pizza, and those who didn't leave early got some of that yumminess.
The kids mostly played outside, with excursions to the table for brownies, snickerdoodles, chex mix, and mini pumpkin muffins. The cake read- "Welcome Sami!"
Leila told one friend that she was going to skip puberty and go straight to adulthood. I asked her about that later, and she explained that puberty sounded to scary- I assured her that it wasn't too bad if one did it right- which meant talking to her mom. I hope that works for her!
My folks, who had been here for almost 3 weeks, left the next day, leaving us to deal with laundry, school age kids, and cooking on our own. Luckily it was Thanksgiving week- and my mom cooked us Thanksgiving dinner on Friday night before they left.
Thanksgiving holidays weren't that much fun for the kids. We did go to friends for dinner on Thursday night, and to the local paint your pottery place on Friday, and the library on Saturday. Tonight some other friends brought a delicious Chicken Masala dinner and tomorrow it's back to school. The laundry is part way done, the house is a mess, but Sami is asleep at the breast, despite my typing with the arm that is holding him.

Ali sits down on the couch next to where I am feeding Sami.
He whispers- "Dear God, thank you for this food..." He notices I am looking at him quizzically. "It's for Sami," he explains.
"Dear God, thank you for this food for Sami. I hope he has a good day tomorrow and he doesn't cry too much."

Bits and Pieces

About two days ago, Sami was letting loose with the stinkiest farts- ones that would make a grownup blush! I kept checking his diaper, thinking that kind of smell must have left something behind, but no- just gas. Who knew a baby could have that in him? It finally resolved late one night in messy diaper.
The kids are fascinated by his umbilical cord- the little stump is still attached. Leila said it looked like a packet of soy sauce. Today, with it almost off, Ali decided on a bit of sausage wrapped in plastic.
Ali says he's a smart baby. He asks him- What's 1+1? The baby, apparently, raises both arms in response, to Ali's great delight.
This morning, during another messy diaper change (Yeah! He's eating well!) Ali asked H why Sami's "thing" was so big.

A family of five!

We're back home with a little boy- Sami Salem. He's enormous- 8 lbs. 6 oz. and a 141/2 inch head- lots of room for all the brains he's got.
He was born at 10:10 last night after a short but difficult labor. He managed to tie a knot in his very long cord, but right at the end of it all. He came out looking blue but quickly gained a great color, and he's very healthy looking with a healthy cry. I have to wake him up to feed him (I know! but just till my milk comes in) but he likes sleeping. Sometimes he'll cry- I think he has a lot of gas to burp up. He really likes to be held, of course.
Leila and Ali spent the night at our neighbors/friends and E brought them by on the way to school this morning. They were so happy to see him, giving him kisses. "I love you, Sami," Ali said as he said goodbye.
This afternoon he was having some trouble remembering his name, but when I let him think of it for a moment, he remembered.
Leila said something very sweet but I'm having trouble remembering it exactly- something about never having seen something so small and precious.
Ali wants to know if I'm still pregnant- he means the belly!
Leila went for a walk with me yesterday after my last post when my midwife told me to take a powerwalk for half an hour. I lasted 4 blocks and back. Then she said to lie down and see if they slowed down- they didn't- so we went in to the birth center. We beat her down there, so had to wait on the porch, and it got rather painful. Then things got better for a while- I got in the tub. Another walk afterwards, this time in the park next to the birth center with Habib, and then I walked around the room for a bit. I spent some time on the exercise ball (egg) with Habib rubbing my back. After a while the contractions got pretty bad and I wasn't dilating quite enough, so we decided to speed things up some. His little head wasn't coming down into the birth canal, so I had to push it down. Habib was a big help, holding me as I squatted and made the "angry cat" pose (arching my back) to force him down. Once he crowned it was pretty easy to push him out. (relatively! I think I pushed about 4 or 5 times.  He came out about 10:10 p.m.
The funny thing- Habib had a dream yesterday morning before I woke him up to tell him I was in labor. He had a bug in a bottle. The bug had food and everything in the bottle, but when Habib opened it up, the bug got out and didn't want to go back inside. And he thought it was a male bug.
(I've tried to avoid TMI- you didn't get ALL the gory details!)
The older kids are off to dinner and trick-or-treating with friends, and I've got this one dressed as a duck burrito. (Almost all gender neutral baby clothes are ducks!)

A little early

This morning I woke up at 9:15 with some pains (I'd woken up an hour earlier with no pains). I decided to make coffee because that would get me through the day, but I wasn't hungry, which is unusual for me. I've had pains off and on for a while all day- every ten or twenty minutes, lasting from 30 seconds to one minute. But lately they are slowing down, perhaps because I'm taking it easy.
It is a whole week and a half too early for this!
The kids said if the abby is born tonight or tomorrow they would rather go to school then leave early to see the baby. I said I'm making them leave early!

In the right place

Ali wanted to know what was going to happen when the baby was born, so I explained who would take care of them and where he and Leila would be. "Where are you going to be?" he asked me. "At a special place to have the baby." "Where is Baba going to be?" "With me," I told him. "Where is God going to be?" "He's going to be with all of us," for which I am devoutly grateful. Then he asked "Where are the neighbors going to be?" I told him it was none of my business. (Unless they are the ones taking care of the kids!)

He was worried that the baby might come on Halloween- so am I! I told him Grandma and Grandpa were going to be here when the baby comes, and we would call them to come in from the camper. Leila thought they would like that, as the camper will be cold. But at the rate we're going with Texas weather, it'll just be too hot!

Trying to get a grasp

I've had almost 8 months to get my head around being pregnant. Now it's time to really work on getting it into my head that we will have a little person in our lives in two weeks. I was watching The Rachel Zoe Project on t.v. last night. Her latest project was pushing out a baby, and I got a funny feeling in my tummy- butterflies, really- watching her with him, and realizing that'll be me soon.
Help!
At least I've ordered the car seat and it should be here tomorrow!

Your Body is a Sports Arena

Barbara Kruger has a famous work called "Your Body is  Battleground."  Lately, my body is feeling more like a sports arena. The baby is doing somersaults and other tumbling moves when he/she isn't practicing for Tae Kwon Do. It's weird enough when the kicks are on my outer stomach, but when the baby is kicking on the inner side, it's even stranger.
Yesterday I had a big migraine come on right in the middle of class. It's hard to teach grammar when I can barely see because of the migraine aura. Today I thought one might be coming on- and it still might- but at least I'm in my office and not in class today.
Yesterday we broke a record in Texas- the most days of over 100 degree weather. Some people were disappointed when a cold front a few weeks ago interupted the record for most days over 100 in a row. Now they can celebrate that this is officially the hottest summer on record. It should break with a cold front coming through tomorrow. I'm certainly ready for it. This was the wrong summer to be pregnant and stuck in Texas the ENTIRE summer. Usually we escape to cooler climes for a week or two at the least.
Oh well, it's over now.

Love

"Have a nice day at school, Ali," I said as he headed out.
"I love you, mommy. And tell the baby I love it, too."
"Ali loves you baby," I say in the direction of my belly.
Sometimes, when he isn't in a hurry to get to school, Ali kisses the baby via my belly. He's going to be a very loving big brother.
Everything was great at the midwife today. I have to do my food chart still, but was glad I haven't since last night's dinner was pizza and the midwife was the same one I had when I did my food chart with Ali, and she's very strict.
My back is doing better now that I've done some exercises, and I saw the chiropracter today. She tells me she likes to see her "Preggos" throughout the pregnancy, and I've scheduled a massage along with my adjustment next week.